Too many times, we have asked ourselves this question- “Why did I get cheated on- why me?”, but are we really ready to hear the truth on this matter? I have done a lot of research and put a lot of thought about this particular topic. I feel that when the relationship is new, fresh and exciting, both people have this undeniable attraction. The reason that your mate was gravitating towards you and wanted to be with you is because you were putting your best foot forward. You dress up nice on dates for them, you were more calculated by thinking before you speak and you made your personality shine. Once they choose you and you develop a meaningful relationship this is not the beginning of the end, its the beginning of a life time journey that actually takes effort.
Even after spending a long time together and years have gone by, people fail to “work” at the relationship and start taking simple things for granted. What I mean by work is specifically, it’s the small things that really make the difference. Keeping the romance alive will lengthen your relationship tremendously. Being intuitive to your partner and reading their cues. Exploring intimately with your partner and being willing to try new things is essential!
I think that people who have been in relationships longer than a year should really listen up! After that year mark, you need to start changing up your game….and yes I said GAME!
If you do the following, you can be saving yourself a lot of time and grief
1. Make a date night, if you already don’t have that one night were it is just you and your partner, no friends or kids
2. Dress for success is not just for the workplace anymore. Men and woman a like become increasingly attracted to their mate who looks sexy and when you dress sexy, you exhume sexy within your personality.
3. Tone down the drama. No one these days likes or looks forward to drama. We cant get rid of it fully within our lives but if you keep it to a minimum, your relationship will be lighter and less complicated.
4. Don’t share every detail of your relationship online or with your friends. You will give people the power to pass judgment and open doors that you didn’t want open. Plus if your mate finds out, you will make what ever the situation much worse. No one needs to be involved in your personal business anyway.
5. Don’t poke the bear with a stick! This is true for your partner, don’t puposly piss off your partner when things are not going well, instead listen to your partners complaints and concerns. Just hearing them out and telling them you understand will give them a sense of importance and that you find what they feel important. Don’t justify anything you said or did, just simply let them know that you understand where they are coming from so you can move on.
6. Tune up the bedroom. Create a new look for your bedroom that screams SEXY- not sappy romance either. We live in the real world and nothing spells cheesy like a bad romance novel, its all fiction… what I am saying is spice up your bedroom so your partner knows exactly what you plan on doing to them in there. Tip- just add a pair of furry handcuffs to the headboard will make his head swell, among other things
7. Ok, its the sex talk. I can sit here all day and come up with a million ideas of what to do in the bedroom but that is not what I am going for here. Your personality, your presence needs to exhume sexy. You want to create a hunger in your partner so they don’t feel like they need to get it else ware. This is created by talking all the information that you have about your partner when it comes to sex and fantasies and make them a reality. If its role playing he is into and your not- well you better get your game face on if you want to keep his attention. There are plenty of women out there that will do what he wants without a single thought so throw yourself into what he likes.
8. Do something crazy every once in a while to shake things up. For example- you have your partner in your car, get on the freeway and drive… but what he doesn’t know is that you rented a room in a town not too far away. Drop him off at a bar. You are going to walk in after him and pick him up. Pull out the heels and lingerie (maybe a wig) and make it a sex date- or go skinny dipping at a lake or beach. The intent is to keep things fresh- not just in the beginning but ongoing. Your partner will appreciate this and keep the attraction alive
9. Learn to be professional forgivers. Forgive everything and forgive every time. People who don’t forgive carry resentment that equals negative energy and this will turn your partner off
10. Compliments and kindness do go a long way. Most people may not take this one to seriously but if you don’t, it will cost you. In this day and age, people tend to lack respect for one another or don’t use their manners. This is very common in relationships. As time goes on, we say screw being nice when things are not going well. This tells your partner mentally that they are not your top priority. I think that if you think your partner looks good- tell them. People who bitch, rant and rave to their partner daily puts a negative energy/vibe into the relationship. The second your partner sees someone interested in them and they seem like a positive person, you will get your ass cheated on quickly. People like to be treated well and often. Think about holding your tongue and omit the negative comment and insert a positive one instead!